Calories in a Pound

There are 3,500 calories in a pound of body fat.

That means every time you eat a snickers bar with 600 calories you’re ok.  Even the next time you eat a Resse’s Peanut Butter Cup wtih 700 calories your ok.  Why not, let’s have ourselves a huge-arse chimichanga while we’re at it (a.k.a. fried burrito with cheese and sour creme on top) - just another 2,200 calories right?

Don’t be a stupid fathead.  I know you still ate every other meal that day.  So you just added 1 extra pound of pure body fat to your body.

photo credit: dotbenjamin

Seriously, for every 3,500 calories you consume that you don’t burn off it turns into fat.  It goes the same the other direction.  If you burn off 3,500 calories more than you eat - you’ll lose a pound.  But who are we kidding, you’re not going to burn off 3,500 calories if you’re still acting like a fat head.

Now you know.  Now there’s no excuse.  Don’t be a fathead.

Getting Rid of Stomach Fat

Are you trying to get rid of stomarch fat and you claim that you don’t know how? Stop being such a stupid fathead!

An article was just release last week in the Americana Journal of American Medicine. It announced that in over 93% of their tests it turned out that eating right and exercising helped people to get rid of their stomach fat.

Holy bananas! Who knew?

Of course, they do warn could any body movements of any kind could also result in straining or pulled muscles similar to those you see in major league baseball players. You know, the kind of injury where the best players in baseball, such as A-Rod, walk to first base and end up straining their hamstring and are out for four weeks.

And since their study does involve having to get up off the couch and moving, it may not actually be the best idea to use this method to knaw off that stomach fat.

photo credit: Andres Rueda

Hold onto your remote Batman, there is great news. It turns out you can have lipo suction just pull that fat right off your body without even getting off the couch.  The machine above is one of those very such lipo machines.  For just a few bucks you can have this sucker whip the fat right off your body.

Even better news, for the first three callers that take the fathead approach to using this machine and send us the video of the process we will happily cover the costs of the procedure.

3 Reasons to Be Lazy

Looking for 3 great reasons to be lazy all day long?  Just when you are considering getting up from your lazy boy, think again.  Taking another few minutes of doing nothing may not be such a bad idea after all. So take your time, maximize this window so you don’t have to scroll down, and enjoy these three great reasons why you should be lazy.

photo credit: DannyBen

1. It Takes No Effort to Be Lazy.

You don’t have to actually do anything to be lazy. And for many people this natural born trait is simply inherent in their blood line.  It is one of the easiest learned traits since the evolution of the current mankind.  Don’t fight it, just do nothing and roll with it.

2. It Only Gets Easier

As time goes on you will only find yourself gaining more pounds and adding more weight.  Gravity will then take ahold and only encourage you and your muscle system to continue sitting, sleaping, or simply not moving.  The laziness effect is a wonderful cycle of doing nothing and then your mind and body encouraging you to do more of nothing.

3. People Like Fatheads, Don’t They?

Once your mind and body have accepted your natural laziness trait you will become defensive, if not combatitive to any recomendations of exercise.  Normal activities may even become a nuisance.  The good news is that the general American public is fat.  They will look at you with open arms (although still sitting) to invite you to join in their own fathead lazy effect.