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New Year Resolution - Lose Weight
Time for a New Year Resolution to Lose Weight? Wouldn’t it be great to start this one month of the year off to shave a few pounds? Can you just imagine how glories you would be the rest of the year with that thin new body? How quickly you forget the last 2 months. Oh dear, here we go again…
What on god’s green earth is giving you that insanely, stupid, fat-headed foolish idea that once you lose 3 pounds you won’t go back to your fatheaded ways just like your last month of debauchary? Going on a diet for a three-week New Year’s Resolution is just a way of tricking yourself into temporarily feeling all positive about your broken self-esteem. WAKE UP! Losing weight is NOT THAT HARD. Just get your bum off the sofa for two minutes, go for a walk outside, even if it’s just to get the paper, and relish that 2 minutes of exercise you just had. Turns out it’s not all that bad. If you just did that same thing for 15 more minutes every day you’d actually start to lose weight year round. Whoaaaa-Baaaaby. That’s right. You heard the breakthrough scientific discovery here first. Get rid of your stupid diet and start walking. Ok, eating right is important, but it’s more like skipping the Snickers and then going for the walk. Come on junior, it’s not that hard. I wish there was a legal place to bet you… See you next year when you search the same New Year’s Resolution while your still a fathead that hasn’t walked anywhere yet. Honestly, I hope I’m wrong (but I’d still make the bet). Deceiving Your Metabolism Ever tried to trick your metabolism? I just heard recently about an “absolute must” for anyone into the latest technological advances in the weight-loss, metabolism boosting, and try-anything world of shedding some pounds. Are you ready for this? I really am not. This one pains me. Its even hard to type this one out to tell you the truth. Fine, here we go…
It turns out there is now some sort of pregnancy hormone shot that you can take that will keep your metabolism through the roof. What does that mean? It means you can go on that wonderful starvation diet that you’ve dreamed of trying. Seriously, it might work. Actually, I wouldn’t even be mad, or post your picture on the site if you tried it. At least you’d be doing something. Ok, I lied. Stop being a stupid-donut-eating-french-fried Fat Head! Now I’m angry. I need to go for a walk. And by the way, you probably need to too. |
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Eating
Deceiving Your Metabolism
Ever tried to trick your metabolism?
I just heard recently about an “absolute must” for anyone into the latest technological advances in the weight-loss, metabolism boosting, and try-anything world of shedding some pounds.
Are you ready for this? I really am not. This one pains me. Its even hard to type this one out to tell you the [...]
Moving Around
New Year Resolution - Lose Weight
Time for a New Year Resolution to Lose Weight? Wouldn’t it be great to start this one month of the year off to shave a few pounds? Can you just imagine how glories you would be the rest of the year with that thin new body?
How quickly you forget the last 2 months. Oh dear, here [...]
Diet Pills
Soluble Fiber Supplement to Poop Away Calories
It turns out that you can find a soluble fiber supplement in almost any grocery store. The problem is that they usually don’t contain that much fiber. Which in turn means you won’t be able to poop all those calories away like you hoped.
No worries, as always I know the soluble fiber solution!
Here’s where the [...]
Don't Be a Fat Head
Calories in a Pound
There are 3,500 calories in a pound of body fat.
